


Coma Mi Polla!

by Lynchie



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Crack, Gen, Shiro is Very Worried about his son, Swearing, aka Lance is Fed Up and wants out, and Pidge being Pidge does not help, and lets loose the fiery rage that is held within, cussing in Spanish, fuck it, hes just Done, i guess, inspired by a tumblr post, keith finds it hot but that should just be assumed already, so lance just goes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-08
Updated: 2016-07-08
Packaged: 2018-07-22 07:45:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7426201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lynchie/pseuds/Lynchie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lance was fed up.</p>
<p>He woke up to no hot water, and the breakfast goop seemed even goofier than normal. He was getting dressed when they got an alarm that the castle was being attacked, so he had to run down to where his suit was being kept in the training room with only half his clothes on. Once in his lion, he almost flew into Pidge, resulting in them giving Lance snide comments every time he made a mistake. after forming Voltron, he was so on edge that he miscalculated and they almost fell over. </p>
<p>They had been fighting for hours by then, and everybody was pissed off, even Shiro sounded annoyed and angry.</p>
<p>Lance was fed up. His teeth were grinding together, his movements jagged and tense. As he almost overbalanced again, with everybody yelling at each other, he snapped.<br/>___</p>
<p>Lance gets so pissed off that he loses it and goes off his rocker in Spanish (and I don't think anyone but Hunk knew that he could speak it so they're all sort of in shock) and says "fuck" like thirty six times.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coma Mi Polla!

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a tumblr post,which can be found [here](http://klanced.tumblr.com/post/146873662295/headcanon-that-lance-speaks-rapid-spanish-whenever)
> 
> I did rely on Google translate for this, so let me know if anything is wrong.

Lance was fed up.

He woke up to no hot water, and the breakfast goop seemed even goofier than normal. He was getting dressed when they got an alarm that the castle was being attacked, so he had to run down to where his suit was being kept in the training room with only half his clothes on. Once in his lion, he almost flew into Pidge, resulting in them giving Lance snide comments every time he made a mistake. after forming Voltron, he was so on edge that he miscalculated and they almost fell over. 

They had been fighting for hours by then, and everybody was pissed off, even Shiro sounded annoyed and angry.

Lance was fed up. His teeth were grinding together, his movements jagged and tense. As he almost overbalanced again, with everybody yelling at each other, he snapped.

"Oh mi dios no puedo trato de la cogida con esto ! Lo he tenido hasta aquí, y puto estoy hecho ! Carajo esta mierda , estoy harto de esto! ¡Fuera de mi vista antes de que meto la bandera de su Galran preciosa por el culo !"

_> "Oh my god I cannot fucking deal with this! I have had it up to here, and I am fucking done! Fuck this bullshit, I am so sick of this! Get out of my sight before I shove your precious Galran flag up your arse!"_

He yelled at the top of his lungs at rapid speed. He was just so sick, so tired, so absolutely done with today. Everything seemed against him, and his slip ups just made him anxious and cause even more slip ups. His eyebrows just dipped into an even more extreme angle as the Galran monster they were fighting let out an echoing roar.

"¿Qué? Oh cállate la boca ! Puedes pensar que has tenido un mal día ? Bueno, no ha sido exactamente cuantas gotas de agua y sol por aquí del amor !"

_> "What? Oh shut the fuck up! You think you've had a bad day? Well it hasn't exactly been sprinkles and sunshine over here Sweetheart!"_

He spurted out again, not even pausing for breath. Even as he jammed his bayard into the compartment next to his seat, summoning a gigantic sniper rifle, a constant stream of angry, rapid, pissed of Spanish insults and cuss words flew out of his mouth. The monster poised itself, moving into a position ready to attack as Voltron lifted the rifle, pointing it straight at its head. The monster kept forward, aiming a mighty swing directly at them.

"Coma mi polla !" Lance screamed as they pulled the trigger, burning its head and surrounding neck into a crisp. Everyone else sat in shocked silence, mouths agape as Lance panted slightly. No one spoke as they flew back to the castle. 

___

They trudged into one of the castle's main rooms, tiredly pulling off their helmets and laying themselves on the floor. Allura and Coran stared at Lance, their eyes wide.

"What was that?" she questioned, almost accusingly, and absolutely confused. Lance in question was sitting with his butt against the wall, his body draped over his bent over almost horizontally in exhaustion. His head lay between his bent knees, his face completely hidden. "What happened out there?" she asked again, even more bemused this time.

When Lance didn't answer, Shiro stood and made his way over to where he sat. 

"Uh, Lance? Buddy? Are you okay?" he asked, cautiously.

He lifted his head, and grinned up at Shiro with the biggest smile they had seen on him in a long time, looking absolutely relieved.

"I forgot how freeing it is to speak Spanish! I think I'll do it more often!" he said, sounding tired but absolutely pleased with himself. "Welp, I'm knacked." he said, stretching out as he stood to leave. "I'm gonna hit the hay, see ya tomorrow amigos." 

After he left, Allura was the first to talk. "What is Spanish?"

"What do you think "coma mi polla" means?" Pidge wondered.

"Honestly?" said Shiro. "I don't want to know."

**Author's Note:**

> It means eat my dick.


End file.
